A good relationship is one where the husband and wife can be as they are. They are special and unique, with all their blemishes. There’s no such thing as a perfect person. Trying to make someone meet your expectations will only lead to frustration, for wife and husband.
It’s difficult to change a person. Assume you did change the other, then after you change them, they won’t be normal, they’d become like actors playing a role. That’s it. Because they will become what they’re not and they won’t be happy. Neither will you because finally they’re not what you wanted.
When we face a problem, human tendency makes us look for something or someone to blame. We believe if we can change the person’s behaviour, we can lower our pains and frustrations. Changing the behaviour may be asking too much. Instead try finding what triggered or caused that argument or fight. Understand and you’ll see the answers to the problem.
A way to enrich the relationship and bring about some change is by appreciating them for what they are. Look at the positive side of them. Take a bit of effort to learn and see the unknown side of your spouse. Each person has value, it just needs a change in perspective to spot that. Have gratitude for the things they have. That could do away much of your pain and frustration.