“When are you having a baby?” is a tough question. Handle the question with ease.
The question can be a little irritating but try not to feel annoyed. Do remember that they too want you both to be happy and enjoy being blessed with children. When they meet a newly-married couple, it makes them nostalgic and also makes them eager to see you and your husband experience the joys of parenthood. However, you may feel embarrassed to deal with this question especially when you and your spouse have decided to postpone having a child or if you have any health issues. You need to be tactful, polite and respond in such a way that you don’t end up hurting anyone in the bargain.
Have a discussion with your spouse about what you are going to tell those relatives when the question of having a baby comes up. If you have decided to postpone having a child, justify it by saying, it will be post a life event like finishing a degree or buying a house. Whatever you plan to say, make sure both of you say the same thing. In the case of some couples, they would like to break the news post a pregnancy milestone like say 12 weeks of pregnancy, decide when you plan to break the news, if it applies to you.
Here’s a sweet way of dodging the question. For example if your grandmother asks about when you are planning to have a baby, say that you do not have immediate plans, but promise that once you do, she will be the first to know. This will not only be a smooth way to tackle the issue but also make the other person feel important in your life.
Most relatives especially the older ones love to dole out advice and asking for advice can be a good way to ease out this question. Tell them you are planning for kids soon and compliment them on the way they brought up their kids. Ask them questions on bringing up children and you will have a whole new spin on the conversation and they will enjoy sharing their tips.
Sometimes humour can diffuse even the most tense situations. Come up with something like, “We are planning to have a child once we find a nice aunt/ uncle who’s ready to help us look after the baby. Are you ready?”
When the curious relative comes up with the question, just smile and switch the topic. Keep a few stock topics ready in your mind. Preparing ahead ensures that you can pull this off with ease.
These simple strategies should help you handle the question with ease yet without damaging any of your relationships with family and relatives.
Before having children, learn why it is important to make the parenting process a joyful experience. Sadhguru explains more in this video.