Being appreciated is a basic need. This is all the more true in a marriage.
In the years after marriage, it is the appreciation that spouses show each other that keeps the fire in the relationship alive.
Think about it. During the course of a normal day, interacting with acquaintances, we use words like “please”, “thank you”, “kind of you”, “I appreciate it so much” and so on. And yet sometimes we take our spouse for granted.
When she brings him the morning coffee, when he buys her a new dress, when she cooks him a special meal, when he takes her out to dinner – is any appreciation shown? Probably not. The spouse is just carrying out a responsibility – so where’s the need for any appreciation we ask?
Appreciation is the life-breath of romance in relationships. Be lavish with appreciation. Be sincere. Be creative.
Appreciation doesn’t always have to be material. When your wife dresses up for an occasion, tell her how beautiful she looks. When he helps you to get ready for the office thank him for his thoughtfulness.
Involve your spouse in all important decisions. Fact is that your spouse is one of the few people who truly care for your success.
Praise your spouse in private and public when praise is justified. It does wonders to their self-esteem.
Never belittle your spouse. It can leave an emotional wound that may never heal. No one is blameless. Ignore minor errors. Discuss and sort out mistakes ones that are significant. Screaming and shouting isn’t going to lessen the consequences of a mistake. On the other hand, an understanding response will show respect and appreciation.
Listen to your spouse. Often we ask ourselves – how did this happen, I never saw it coming. When something unpleasant crops up we are surprised. That is because we failed to listen. Personal expressions can say a lot about what is happening to our spouse physically and emotionally. Even otherwise the mere fact of paying attention when a spouse is saying something is itself a show of appreciation. The message it sends is – no matter what, I’m here for you.
When your spouse is not feeling well take over some of the other responsibilities. This shows concern.
Even though life is hectic consciously pause for a moment everyday to appreciate your spouse’s sacrifices, thoughtfulness, caring and love. Remember, the more appreciation you give your spouse the more appreciation you receive. Appreciation energizes, revitalizes, refreshes and prepares you for the life ahead.
How do you see an unpleasant spouse the same way you would see your Guru? Is this even practical? Sadhguru banishes misconceptions about this spiritual tool and shows us how to make use of it in the right context.