Komal Mishra, Psychologist and Therapist. “A great marriage is not when the perfect couple comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences” Relationships are an essential part of our lives, and we all long to be with the person who understands us, and who accepts each flaw in us. Marriage is a life term commitment which requires time, attention, trust, loyalty, and most importantly love. A lot of times, couples will be with each other but the spark in their relationship decreases over time. This leads to boredom, frustration, anger, seeking companionship through other means which breaks the sanctity of the relationship. These difficulties take place over a period in time and showcase their signs and symptoms earlier. The couple needs to seek therapy if either one or both feel that the relationship is not working but the love is so strong that they want to revive the love and spark. We all are imperfectly perfect and we always seek validation about us from other people. As no two people are same, differences are a part of every relationship but the way they are dealt with is what matters. When the differences overpower the love and compatibility and make us more sad than happy, is the time when marriage counselling can come to aid. Here are some signs that you may need marriage counselling and benefit from it: 1. Lack of intimacy. The word intimacy is highly misinterpreted. It not only covers the physical aspect, but also the emotional touch. Everything seems rosy in the honeymoon phase but it’s when that phase ends that the couples actually begin to accept each other’s flaws and learn to live with each other’s imperfections. Intimacy issues may arise in relationships but when there’s a high mismatch in intimacy expectations between the couple, both in physical and emotional aspect, counselling can really help to align the expectations and help the couple feel closer together. 2. Different love language. We all have our own love language which we not only use to express but also expect the same to be given to us in return. Some of us might use words of reassurance to express love, while others may express by giving gifts, while for some it is the quality time they spend with their partner, and for some it’s the physical touch. When the couple expresses their love differently in a way it doesn’t reach the other, it may lead to quarrels. 3. Miscommunication leading to frequent fights. Communication is a key to all relationships. Communication is not just limited to what you speak, but also, what you listen and interpret. We all might engage ourselves in telling what we feel and how we are but it becomes futile if the other person doesn’t listen or accepts the way it is. If your relationship doesn’t have a proper balance of communicating and you fight on almost all the matters which have different perspectives, and are important, then you may benefit by seeking marriage counselling. 4. Broken trust/trust issues. Trust is the binding force that is the foundation of any relationship. Without trust, no relationship can sustain. When any of the partners starts having trust issue or his/her trust is being broken by the counterpart, then the foundation of the relationship breaks down. As it is essential for one to trust their partner, and a marriage counsellor can help the couple to bring that binding force back in the relationship. 5. Financially unfaithful. Transparency in financial matters play a very important role in relationships. When both the partners have similar expectations on financial matters, things sail smoothly but just when any of them lies or hides something, problems arise. In such cases, it’s important to see a counsellor to help resolve the financial matters and meet each other’s expectations. 6. Inability to resolve arguments and too much time taken to resolve them. All relationships have fights because no two people are same, and with the conflict on Interest, fights take place. Having fights in the relationship is not bad, but what matters is that how you resolve that fight, and how much time the couples take to resolve it. Resolving any conflict can take place by communication and understanding the reason behind the conflict. It is also observed that sometimes couples sometimes discuss old matters which exaggerate the fight even more. Hence, if the couple feel that their arguments are difficult to be resolved, marriage counsellors can help them understand the issue, and make them work together. 7. Feeling unloved. The reason why we are in romantic relationships or we marry is to be loved by the partner. If one of the partners feels that he/she is not being loved by their counterpart, it is essential for the couple to seek therapy as they are missing onto the most essential component of their marriage. Fights and arguments are a part of every relationship, it’s how people resolve these differences that make all the difference. Seeing a marriage counsellor for any issues is a sign that both the parties are willing to reconcile the relationship and wanting to rejuvenate the love and spark in their relationship and making conscious efforts to safeguard their relationship. Psychologists help people see things from an objective perspective which may become a challenge for people. So don’t think that your relationship is weak because you require therapy. You are taking therapy to make it stronger.