While men can easily speak logic, expressing feelings doesn’t come naturally.
Although the most famous poets have been men and over the past centuries,some men have written and sung the most moving and heart rending songs; expression is not considered a man’s forte. It is no wonder, therefore, that men usually find it difficult to express their feelings in day-to-day situations. Even if it seems like seemingly weird behaviour to women, this is how most men are. The fundamental reasons for a man’s inability to express are his genes, his environment and upbringing
Men have evolved to from being the hunters and protectors of the family. For them to be a desirable mate, expression of feelings was never paramount. That is why, their brain has evolved with no specific center for speech and they are not geared for using all parts of their brain while communicating. Therefore, while men can quite effectively share facts and specifications, expressing feelings doesn’t come naturally to them.
Men are also adept at expressing with actions over words. Non-verbal communication and body language is much more important when a man wants to express aggression, anger, frustration and even love. This is also why they are perceived to be non-expressive, as they can’t clearly state how they are feeling. They can only show it, if they want.
Even though human civilizations have evolved in segregated pockets over the centuries; the societal expectations from men are more or less same. Men are expected to be strong in body and mind. Men are supposed to bear stress silently and not share or show any weakness. They are, therefore, encouraged to suppress their feelings from a very early age and eventually they learn to adapt to the stereotype.
Men also feel a need to satisfy their male ego by trying to manage all their emotions without discussing them with anyone else. They would rather talk about sports, car troubles, new technology and their boss instead of discussing any feelings which may make them seem less masculine.
As culture has progressed over the years, men have learnt to be more cautious in relationships. Wearing your heart up your sleeve is not longer considered a smart move when it comes to love and marriage. Fear of rejection, intimidation or mistrust may be other reasons for men to be reserved while expressing their feelings.
For women, the best way to tune in to their male partners is to be receptive of their non-verbal cues and body language. Men usually tend to clam up when faced with tricky emotional questions so it is best to give them space and allow them to express as much or as little as they are comfortable with.
Here Sister Shivani highlights that people can hold us responsible for their pain, but if we create guilt, then it is negative energy, it depletes our power and hence we are not able to transform.