With patience and understanding a man can achieve more than he ever can with diamonds.
What are norms for a woman are exceptions for a man. After a woman marries she is required to go live with her husband and his family. That is the norm. If a man does this, that is an exception. That’s due to the prevailing tradition.
But what is often missed is another side of this tradition: marriage gives a man a new stature, a stature that embodies everything his wife leaves behind in her parental home: her mother, father, her siblings and all the comforts that she is used to while growing up. Her husband now signifies a trust that she places in him to make her feel at home in the new environment and in her new role.
Men often complain that women marry them for what they were and then spend the rest of their housewifely years trying to change them to what they want them to be. Can’t blame women. Women evolve with time. Men have to change in concert to maintain the delicate balance that is intrinsic to happy marriages.
And as for the woman marriage brings about a transformation: from a carefree young woman to wife, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, mother and one who is required to live up to myriad expectations.
However we live in the real world. In the real world often the pieces don’t fall in place. The husband may on occasions fall short of his unwritten commitments. On occasions the wife is not able to live up to expectations. More often than not the reason for this is the clutter and confusion of professional and family life.
This is especially true in the case of women; they have so many roles to play. Besides this women have to contend with mood swings that are hardwired to their biological makeup. This could happen every month at fixed intervals. This could happen with every rise and fall of estrogen levels.
When life becomes hectic and moods swing for no apparent reason, women need help. And who better to give it to them than the husband. And often this help takes the form of patience, understanding, appreciation and honesty.
Merely by listening to his wife a husband shows that he cares. By appreciating her new hairstyle or telling her how good she looks in the new salwar he lets her know that she is still the focus of his attention. By being honest with her – even in tricky situations – he encourages her to be open with him.
The master key is patience. The moment we stop pursuing instant gratification and embrace delayed gratification, you give time for the relationship to mature. It takes many years to develop expertise and become a numero uno in any field.