No matter what, show your wife you love her. She needs someone to lean on.

If your wife doesn’t go off the handle once in a while maybe you’re married to a vacuum cleaner.

As long as it does not happen too often, it is a routine situation with routine solutions.

Here is what you should not do to manage the situation:

Do not try to reason with a woman when she is throwing a tantrum. She will not be keen to listen. At moments like this she will in all likelihood not listen to you.

Do not argue; worse still do not lose your temper.

Keep away from “fanning-the-flame-phrases”: “Calm down”,” Would you just relax?” “What’s the big deal?” or “Don’t overreact”. This will only elicit a reaction opposite of what you expect.

Here is what you could do to defuse the situation:

Just play dumb, but play dumb intelligently, otherwise your wife will conclude that you are mocking her. Pay attention. This will show her that you are concerned about her unhappiness.

Make eye contact. Ask questions. Show her that you are listening.

Use the magical words that are bound to alleviate the situation: “Yes, I agree,” “You’re right” and “I’m sorry”. Try and decipher the cause of her discontent. If it is you, apologise.

When a woman is throwing tantrums she is behaving like a child. She does not know what else to do so she is giving vent to her discontent in the only way she knows – scream. When she is behaving like this treat her like a child. Handle her with kid gloves.

Every woman has a set of reasons that tick her off. Over the years you will know them. Memorise them and avoid them.

Often a woman’s tantrums are a cry for help. With experience you will be able to feel them coming on. Preempt it. That is the time to talk to her: “I don’t know what to do or how to help right now, but I want to. How can I support you?” It is quite likely that she will open up and tell you what is worrying her.

Frequently her tantrums could only mean that her hormones are spiking. Try and engage her with things she likes doing. Take her out – even if it is only for a stroll.

However, despite all your effort if the tantrums become frequent and the intensity gets worse seek professional help.

No matter what, show your wife that you love her. At moments like this she will need someone strong and caring to lean on.

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