To find “own” space and balancing couple time is challenging. Can it be done tactfully?
Your partner can fulfill most of your needs post marriage but not all, and vice versa. Finding your individual space while balancing couple time is one of the most challenging areas of a relationship, but it can definitely be achieved with a little understanding and forethought.
Closeness and intimacy form the very foundations of a happy marriage but at the same time, it is important not to forget that you are an individual in your own right. Marriage is exciting as it is demanding and it is easy to lose your sense of self in trying to cater to your spouse and family.
This would be the first step in finding a path that works well for both of you after marriage. Every person is different and while some people crave privacy, others may find solace in sharing. Try to gauge what your husband or wife wants and communicate your preferences as clearly as you can. If you happen to need more space than your spouse, explain why so that they don’t feel that you want to be away from them. For example, instead of saying “I need my space”, be more specific with something like, “I hope you won’t mind if I spend some time on weekends painting or reading a book”.
A marriage where both partners are excessively dependent on each other is likely to run into hot waters. The responsibility for your happiness should not rest solely on your partners’ shoulders. Nurture relationships with other people, such as friends and extended family. In fact, planning an evening out with your college buddies can be an excellent way to rejuvenate yourself. At the same time, keeping your partner in the loop about where you’re going and with whom, will prevent any trust issues from cropping up.
Your interests, hobbies and passions define who you are as a person and make your life more wholesome and complete. While there is incredible joy in doing things together, you must try and make time for things you love doing and encourage your partner to do the same.
It is important not to get carried away while seeking your own space in a relationship as this can lead to emotional distancing and isolation. Be invested in your partner’s emotions and tune in to their interests, thoughts, conversations and activities. Open up your heart and share your thoughts with each other. As your bond grows stronger, you will find it easier to find the space you need.
Remember that your personal happiness as well as your spouse’s will depend on the health of your marriage. Take the time to explore your relationship and spend enough quality time with your wife or husband most importantly, be there for them when they need you.