Happiness through the smiles of another

True happiness that comes from loving and being loved is enduring and defies description.

There is something in common between the abominable snowman and happiness: they are both elusive. At least those who go looking for the mysterious snowman have some clue as to what he looks like. But those who seek happiness have only an indistinct notion about their goal.

And yet there is not a single human being who is not searching for happiness. They begin to look for happiness in the fulfillment of their basic needs. When those basic needs are satisfied they feel that lasting happiness does not lie there and shift their focus to mental and emotional needs.

Lasting happiness is not there either. Lasting happiness lies in love.

This love begins with love for oneself. And the happiness from selflove accrues by living your life resisting fear, and experiencing life feeling worthy and satisfied. The fear of rejection by others and the struggle to live up to the expectations of others make us feel unworthy of happiness. They make us believe that we still fall short of deserving happiness.

Striving for perfection is an obsession; we seek perfection to guard ourselves against external criticism. This is because we focus outside ourselves.

There is nothing wrong with being who we are. The day we begin to be at peace with ourselves we begin to feel happy. The day we begin to feel gratitude for what we are and what we have we begin to feel that this happiness is durable. To those to whom all this sounds like philosophical mumbo jumbo, rest assured that these are the basic bolts and nuts of lasting happiness.

Happiness is a state of mind. When you realise this you are ready to take happiness to a higher plane. A significant way of doing this is to find a spouse. Finding a spouse is finding something good and you will be blessed for it. It is also the ultimate fulfillment of life’s purpose.

But married life is not always a bed of roses. Challenges are an adjunct of life itself whether married or single. Focus on eliminating difficulties together.

Focus after marriage shifts from self love to love for the spouse. Only those who pursue happiness through the happiness of their spouse will get pleasure from marriage. There is nothing wrong in seeking your own happiness. But the pursuit of happiness should not be limited to looking for happiness for oneself alone.

Only those who seek happiness in the happiness of their spouse will experience true joy.

The happiness that comes from loving someone and having someone who loves you is enduring and defies description.