Dealing with loss of love and affection

Dealing with loss of love and affection

After the initial years of your marriage, a phase of boredom visits you. What’s happening?

The early years of marriage seem full of happiness, excitement and the joy of discovering each other. However, after a couple of years, as you move into a comfortable domestic routine, you might after a while find that there seems to be a loss of love and affection between the two of you.

Why are you drifting apart?

Over time, both partners tend to take each other for granted and you need to consciously work on appreciating and acknowledging your partner’s contribution to your life. Sometimes partners suppress their emotions either to avoid hurting their better half or to maintain peace at home. However, this can lead to a rising inner resentment against the other. It’s important to sit down and discuss points of conflict.

Understand your relating pattern

When you marry, your feelings for each other are usually quite strong. You love and accept each other as long as certain expectations that you have in mind are met. However, over time, the feelings cool down and then the imperfections surface. This is when you need to show unconditional love and accept your spouse’s pluses and minuses.

Communicate regularly

Sometimes the daily routine means that you communicate with your spouse only on mundane domestic things. However, to truly build a connection, you must spend more time communicating, communication that involves your feelings, aspirations, positive and negative emotions and so on. When your spouse wants to talk, be a patient listener.

How to fall in love once again

Recall what you both used to enjoy doing together, maybe it was walking along the beach or it was watching a movie together. Do it once more. Take an effort to do something special for your spouse, cooking up a special meal or getting a customised piece of jewellery, booking a surprise holiday and so on.

Look attractive for your spouse

Marriage does not mean that you should stop looking after yourself.Keep yourself well-groomed. Buy clothes that flatter you and take that extra effort to dress well when you go out with your spouse.

Let go of your ego

The reason that many marriages break down is because of powerful egos. Be quick to forgive and forget mistakes that your spouse makes, after all he or she is human. Sacrifice your ego to bring peace, happiness and reconciliation to your marriage.

15 special minutes

Modern life keeps us endlessly busy but it’s important to be clear about your priorities. Nurture your marriage by devoting 15 minutes to your spouse exclusively every day. Use this time to share your day and to tell your spouse how much you love them.

Love is a commitment

There is no magic ingredient that can keep the love in your marriage blazing. You have to work on it everyday to keep it warm and strong. Love is a choice you make and not something thrust on you by circumstance. If you feel that the love and affection in your marriage is waning, follow our pointers but be consistent and patient and we promise you will have wonderful results.

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About the Author

Lakshmi Santhosh

Lakshmi is a greatly followed and acclaimed content creator known for answering the most burning questions on life and relationships. Tons of couples are thankful to her for helping them address and overcome the issues in their marriage. Her contribution to HappyMarriages is a continuation of her wonderful work.

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