Iam married with two kids. Still couldn’t understand why men are unexpressive to wife…
Iam married with two kids. Still couldn’t understand why men are unexpressive to wife…
Hi,
It is more a gender/cultural issue. Men are supposed to maintain a stiff upper lip to show how strong they are. It is not that their emotions are missing. They too feel pain, sorrow and joy. However, to express becomes a hurdle.
A man not expressing love could also be he does not know how. He may not have grownup in a family where it is ok to express emotions or discuss feelings. Not many families believe in hugging, giving compliments and gifts.
With media and movies showing man a macho and the female as swooning, he does not have any schemas to fall back on.
A man can learn to express his emotions. He can learn to show love and feel comfortable with his feelings. It is a choice; does he want to carry on the cloak of being considered macho or show he too is vulnerable.
Small gestures of love like a kiss on the forehead; hugs; compliments; saying I love you; holding hands; are all possible. These gestures go a long way in making the wife feel loved and cherished. It also shows he is grateful for having her in his life, and that he respects what she represents.
One way to show him is to hug him; compliment him; cuddle up with him; hold hands and show your delight whenever you see him. Maybe he will learn that these are not stressful gestures! And be motivated to return them!
Counsellor at Happy Marriages