My husband recently got a promotion and ever since then, he has been working all the time. He is in office till late at night and even when he comes home, he brings his work with him. This is hampering our personal time and badly affecting our marriage. We hardly talk. How can I change this?
Hi,
It is very evident how much you miss your personal time with your husband.
It is great he has got promotion. This also means he has more responsibilities and so he is working more. However, he seems to have forgotten or is unable to give you some time.
Could you find out when he has lunch, and his evening tea? Check with him if you can call and speak for a minute. Just tell him you want to hear his voice. You miss the connect.
Maybe it is possible to have lunch with him, in a restaurant near his office, one of the working days?
These are all ways to help him give you time. Also what about your weekends? Public holidays? He comes in with work?
Send him a msg, note or email that you want to talk to him. Tell him you are happy over his promotion, you appreciate his workload has increased. However, how can he make time for you? He has to work on his schedule. Show him in as many ways as possible how much you miss your time together.
Paste a love message on the bathroom mirror, which he sees when he shaves; include a compliment note in his lunch bag; find ways to make him miss you. You can send him pictures of happy times together in the past..
Are you a career woman? Or managing home? Maybe some hobby, a new learning, some group activity can help you fill your time. This is not to replace your want/need for personal time with your husband. However, some time spent otherwise will help you not stress too much on the missing personal time. And when stress level is less, you can think more creatively.
Rajani Nandakumar,
Consultant Psychologist
HappyMarriages.com
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