Asking the right kind of questions before getting married can lead to a positive relationship. And this in turn leads to a happy marriage, says Rajasekar KS.
Most of us have positive expectations about marriage, despite a bit of anxiety of the unknown. But, it’s always best to discuss what your future partner looks forward in the marriage. That leaves less scope for disappointment. Our belief systems and upbringing impact our expectations and to have a stable and happy relationship, discuss what you expect of each other.
Most people assume that we can discuss and sort things out as we go along, but some things are best discussed at the start. Passion such as singing, dance or art for which you need dedicated hours every week or being part of the cricket team, trekking club or community time with an NGO – you must share it before marriage.
Do you expect your man to do household chores – if so what and how much support is expected? Or the wife to cook and care for parents – time to discuss, isn’t it?
These days with education being expensive, many young people have to pay education loans. At times, credit card debts or home loan commitments are also possible. It’s advisable to share important information with your prospective spouse to avoid any arguments later.
Here again, we safely assume that going to a place of worship regularly or following a path to spiritually is acceptable. But, then other could have a different opinion. When you talk openly about this the expectations are clear to your spouse.
It’s rather unusual to discuss matters of heath during pre-marriage meetings. Nevertheless, if there are significant or long-term health concerns, it’s wise to talk about it.
It may not sound like a priority right now, but chatting about expectations of starting a family leaves no room for surprises later on. A broad agreement on this will help build the bond between you two.
It’s not uncommon to pursue a degree post marriage, pursue research or work abroad for some time. If that’s what you intend to do, your partner’s support is crucial during that period. Soliciting support beforehand can be a good idea.
So you see, asking the right questions can help each other understand expectations.
There are some fundamental questions that you must ask your future spouse to be sure that there will be no major conflicts after marriage. This video outlines the most burning ones.