If your wife is moody or upset, here’s how you can find out and fix it, explains Dr Rachna Khanna Singh, Head of The Mind and Wellness Clinic.
Moodiness is natural. We all have times where we get irritated, angry, or downright cranky with the world for no apparent reason. Sometimes those moods are due to a lack of sleep, hunger, hormones, or just because we had a bad day. But, if you find your wife is always upset, angry, and low on energy or is avoiding you, then there might be a problem to it. And, it is time to find out the reason behind it.
Here are a few signs that will help you notice whether your wife is in a bad mood:
She has been avoiding you and her friends.
If you feel that your wife has been avoiding talking to you or any of her other friends, it is quite possible that she is angry or upset about something. It might be that she keeps conversations to a minimal or just replies to what is asked, and gets agitated if the person wants to know more. There might be multiple reasons for this kind of behavior, a low mood might be one of them, and it might be a good decision to talk to her about the same.
She’s constantly asking, ”Are you listening to me?”
There is nothing better than having someone to talk to at the end of the long, draining day. When someone is already in a low mood, it is normal for her to get irritated or agitated at the slightest of things. She might be constantly asking you for your attention, if she feels that you are not listening to her fully. But that is alright, it might be a sign of annoyance at her side. If she chooses to talk about her mood with you, it is better to sit down with her and talk the issue out.
If she feels you are not putting enough effort in the relationship
Your wife may be in a bad mood if she has been sensing a lack of effort from your side. It is very important to constantly work on your relationship with your wife as it is a key to a healthy relationship. Thus, it becomes imperative to spend some quality time with her from time to time. If she feels that you have not been putting in sufficient effort to make things work, she might be feeling rather upset and hurt about it.
She rolls her eyes at jokes
If you feel that your wife has been failing to take jokes in a light manner lightly, or has been following jokes with unpleasant reactions, like rolling her eyes or just sighing, chances are that she is in a bad mood. There might have been something that upset her or made her angry, which she has not brought up with you yet.
If she has been detaching herself
If your wife has been detaching herself from you or her friends, or other family members lately, there might have been something that really put her off. If her behaviour is quite different from what it usually has been, it could be a sign of a bad mood. Like, if she has been avoiding making plans to meet her friends for outings, she might have been upset about something.
How can you help your wife overcome the moodiness?
Identify the reason
Try to identify the reason behind her bad mood. Try to locate if there is a specific reason to her being annoyed. Ask her what is bothering her when you feel that she is calm. Try to weigh out her anger and have a conversation with her without passing any judgments. If she will feel heard, she will feel loved and it will boost her spirits.
Practice good listening skills
Being a good listener is the key for your wife to be able to share things with you without feeling judged. Empathise with her when she is expressing a difficult emotion like sadness. It is difficult to be able to talk about things when life feels tough. But when you have a partner you can share your problems with, it becomes a little easy to face them because you know you have a loving hand holding you strong.
Don’t take things personally
It is possible that when she tells you things, she might be blaming you or using harsh words. Don’t take it personally. Since she has so much built up inside of her due as she’s not been able to share it, now that she is venting out, it might just explode. Just listen to her calmly and let her speak without getting defensive. Try to understand what she is saying and ask her how you can help her.
Be her support system
Hug her when you see her low. It might be possible that she resists but a loving hug will eventually calm her down. Lend your ear to the spouse’s problems and moods. If she feels loved by you, her mood will get better and your bond with her will only get stronger.
Try to be patient with her
It is possible that when our spouse is angry or in a bad mood we tend to get irritated. It is normal to feel that way, but being patient is the key. This will pass. Give her the space she needs to calm down and then share your feeling with her. Ask her what bothers her and try to help her. Sometimes there are very small changes we can do to make our partners happy.
Take responsibility for your actions
If you know that your wife is in a bad mood because of something you did, then apologise. It is ok to say sorry when it is your mistake. It will only strengthen your bond with your spouse as it will make her realise that you understand her needs and that you care for her feelings.
Offer love and empathy
Try to offer love and empathy to your partner in the hour of need. If she tells you something, offer a listening ear. Try to understand what she is saying and be supportive of her. Offer a loving touch or a hug. Offer a massage, or make her favorite meal or perhaps just sit in silence with her. Make her feel loved and wanted. Don’t let her sleep in a bad mood. Cuddle up with her and let her feel your love. If she feels loved and cared for, she will never be in a bad mood for a long time.
Repeatedly remind her of your endless love
There are times when we do love our spouse but we forget to show them. Show her your love and you can boost her spirits very fast. Offer her gifts or take her out for a surprise dinner, maybe just a walk in the night and hold her hands. Small gestures mean a lot and it can uplift her mood very fast.
There is no need to panic or worry if you notice that your wife is in a bad mood. But, once you pick up on such hints, you should try finding out the reasons behind it. For this, it is very important to communicate about these things with her very clearly. On doing so, you can help her figure out her way through her problems, so that can achieve balance in her life again.