As the first time mother, she strives really hard to become the best mother possible. The fact that the parenting gig is equally overwhelming for her spouse often slips from her mind.
The birth of a child ushers a lot of change in women, here are some tips for husbands to understand and support!
For a husband to comprehend fatherhood effectively, he must first understand his wife’s physical, emotional and hormonal variations post pregnancy. The birth of a child also marks the rebirth of the mother. So, even as a mother is overwhelmed with infinite joy and mothering instincts, her body is sore with fatigue. Nursing and tending to a newborn round the clock takes a toll on her at some point in time.
Therefore, she needs to be understood and supported. As a husband, try to understand your priorities, reorganise your commitments and importantly, learn to say ‘NO’ to friends in terms of outings as family comes first, always.
Remember, affection flows like water for a couple when responsibilities are minimal and the sole enjoyment is sought in each other’s company.
However, the romantic equation undergoes a paradigm shift when a couple steps into the parenting world. A sea of change creeps in with the newbie mother’s first hand apprehensions, her confusion over her new role, the hormonal surges and physical changes, post-partum depression and not to mention, the fluctuating levels of her emotional quotient.
Tips to support new mothers
There’s quite nothing like showing love to your wife by taking care of the child. From changing napkins, singing to put her to sleep to feeding, husbands can help in every way. As a father, your role is to support the mother and the child throughout the child’s development stage.
Watching favourite TV shows and movies, dining in fine restaurants, clubbing, partying and a lot of passion-driven activities that a couple enjoy together, take a backseat after a child is born.
The change is not gradual but drastic. At times, it can create ripples in a healthy relationship if, acceptance is overridden with the thought – Life is not the same as before. So, make the most of the little time-outs you get when the child is asleep.
Take short walks together, talk to each other and together, you shall discover that sharing your feelings and thoughts with absolute honesty heals all the misunderstanding caused by loss of time and space with each other.
But, that does not mean that your relationship must become solely child centric. Remember, a child stays happy and healthy only if the parents love each other and resort to co-parenting effectively. So give yourselves timely breaks, rediscover your long-lost romance and take life easy with a good sense of humour.
Life ought to get better!
Shuchi Singh Kalra