Why Silence Is a Relationship Killer and What You Should Do About It

Marriage by its very nature is all about companionship and sharing feelings & life together. The ‘Silent Treatment’ is something that we sometimes come across when warring spouses ignore each other after a fight.

Silence can create a rift in the relationship and with time, the cracks will widen. This can also be emotionally damaging and leave the spouse feeling hurt, frustrated, confused, angry and unloved.

What happens when we suppress our words?
When a couple suppresses opinions, thoughts and feelings from each other in any situation, things might outwardly appear calm but inwardly there would be a storm brewing. These unexpressed thoughts and feeling have a tendency to generate simmering resentment and this keeps growing to a point where there is no link to the original issue.

Where there is silence, there is room for speculation, doubt and false assumptions. You might also start venting your feelings to someone other than your spouse and this is not advisable.

What happens when we explain our feelings to spouse?
When you can express what you’re feeling the moment you’re experiencing it, there’s much less likelihood that you’ll act out on that feeling. You will feel better after talking about what bothers you. The spouse gets a chance to hear what’s bothering the partner and a solution could emerge.

What does sharing do?
When you immediately express what you feel, it sets you free. You will not only feel better, your spouse will also be able to understand what’s going on inside your mind better. This will help you both arrive at a mutually agreeable solution.

Silence can affect your behaviour and health
Keeping silent means that you are bottling up your feelings and this can lead to stress and emotional pain. The stress can lead to health issues. It can also lead to you showing your anger and frustration on other members of your family or at work.

How communication can solve problems
A free flow of information between spouses strengthens the relationship. Any misunderstandings can be sorted out. It also helps speed up the process of emotional healing.

At the end of the day, remember, you both are a team for life! And teams work best when they communicate.

 

Daya Kingston

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