By seeing the beautiful side of our spouse, we can experience a blissful life. How?

All of us enter a marriage with a picture of the ideal mate and walk into it with rose-tinted glasses. The honeymoon passed by in a flash of happiness and then comes the ground reality. Your spouse may or may not possess all the qualities that you had dreamt of.

The word ‘relationship’ by itself means relating to something. Being from different families, your approach to life, belief systems, likes and dislikes might be quite different. The trick to a happy marriage is finding a common ground between the two.

Creating an honest relationship
When we say honest relationship, we mean a relationship, where both of you can be just what you are and be accepted for it. A relationship based on mutual respect where both can walk through life hand-in-hand savouring the commonalities and the differences. Agreed, your spouse and you may not see eye-to-eye on certain issues and he or she may have flaws but remember, you are not perfect either.

Shower your spouse with unconditional love
Conditional love is love given only on the basis of the spouse fulfilling set conditions and the demands just keep increasing. There is also continuous blaming. This kind of love is the path to marital trouble. Shower unconditional love on your spouse without expectations, he or she will reciprocate. Get off the blame game when things go wrong.

You can’t mould your spouse
Your spouse is an individual and has a right to personal dreams and traits. Do not walk into the marriage with the idea that you can mould your spouse to the ideal you have in mind. If you try to force your ideas, they could boomerang on you.

Look at the positives
Your partner may have flaws but do not magnify them. Instead, choose to look at the positive side and appreciate what your spouse has to offer. Be generous when you compliment your spouse.

Avoid sarcasm and gossip
Being sarcastic about your spouse’s flaws can be very hurtful. Words can wound quite deeply and leave scars that could stay for years or may never be forgotten. Do not badmouth your spouse to relatives and friends. Your spouse and you are a team and it’s unfair to let your team-mate down.

Accept responsibility
When there is a problem at home, do not lay all the blame on your spouse. Accept that you too have contributed to it and work together to resolve it and find a solution. Do a little introspection to see what you can do from your side to sort things out amicably. If both of you stay stubborn on an issue, things can’t move forward, so a fair amount of compromise would be needed.

Be forgiving
Your spouse is as human as you and may stumble now and then. If your spouse makes a mistake, be ready to forgive and forget. Do not hold grudges.

Accepting and understanding your spouse’s flaws and moving on will keep your marriage happy and healthy.

Daya Kingston

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