If you expect the moon and stars you’ll be disappointed. How to deal with them.
This is not to say that you should lower your standards when it comes to your partner – it just means that happy relationships focus more on giving than receiving. True love is like the radiance of the sun or the coolness of the moonshine – it shines consistently and unconditionally. That is the kind of love that makes a marriage concrete and everlasting.
Keep expectations to a minimum
This not only applies to marriage, but to all relationships in your life. The more you expect out of a person, the more you are likely to feel angry, upset or let down. Love doesn’t have to be slave to terms and conditions – if you really care about your partner, give them unconditional love. You will find that it makes you a much happier, calmer and fulfilled person.
It also empowers you in a way because now, the source of your happiness is no longer dependent on your partner’s actions; rather, it comes from “giving” to the relationship. When you love your spouse without any pre-set terms, you are able to embrace them with all their flaws and forgive them easily for their mistakes. This changes the dynamics of your relationship and makes your bond stronger and purer.
Discuss your needs openly
Just like you, your spouse may have his or her own set of expectations from you. Make an effort to find out what they are and try to fulfill whatever is within your reach. Talking about expectations in a marriage also gives you an opportunity to express yours so that you and your partner are in sync with each other. Do remember that your partner is only human and it is impossible for them to guess what is going in your mind unless you tell them. If you really want something, you have to ask for it. Open communication is the only way you can understand each other’s needs.
Nurture your relationship
A marriage fulfills your need for companionship and it possible that your spouse is doing a lot for you without you acknowledging it. It is easy to pile on expectations on an individual but it takes a lot of compassion an open mind to appreciate what your partner is doing for your. Thank your partner for being such a positive influence in your life and give your 100% in nurturing your relationship. When you both work towards love, care and understanding in a relationship, it becomes easier to manage your emotions when some expectations are not met.
Happiness tends to elude us when we chase it. Focus instead on making your and your partner’s life beautiful with unconditional love and companionship.
Shuchi Singh Kalra