The Art of Managing an Upset Man

Anger is an emotion that can destroy every form of relationship. How to handle it?

Why is he Angry?
Anger has many reasons. Sometimes, it could be something you said or did, but that’s not the case always. A bad day at work or an argument with a friend could bounce back as anger expressed at home. Sometimes being stuck in what seems like a helpless or hopeless situation can set off anger and frustration. Getting to the root of it can help you.

Apologise if Needed
Take an honest look at yourself, did you play a role in triggering off the anger? Did you say, do or not do something that was expected which caused the anger? If you feel that this is the case, don’t hesitate to come to terms with it and apologise. This will bring down even the most raging temper.

Avoid Trying to Control his Anger
Anger cannot be controlled from external sources, your husband must have the will to control it. Give him space to be angry and let the emotional pressure out. Anger is not something that you should fear, remember, it’s actually an expression of lack of control over a situation. Your husband must learn to deal with issues that provoke his anger and you must help him understand the issues that trigger it.

Avoid the Temptation to Fuel the Fire
Do not respond to anger with anger. There might be situations where you would have your own grievances to add to angry accusations directed at you. However, this is not the time to bring them up. Normally, anger is just a temporary emotion but if you add to it, instead of cooling down you could cause it to escalate. If you let him vent his feelings, he will probably feel bad a little later and calm down.

Listen to Him
As a general thumb rule, hear what he says and stop the urge to comment. Sometimes when you hear things empathetically all anger can just subside. Unless you listen, you will never understand what caused him to be upset. Once he has calmed down, you can then clarify and make him understand the real triggers. Be compassionate and help him come to terms with his anger.

Declare a Truce
At the end of the day, make sure that the anger has fizzled out. After this, do something he likes, make his favourite dish, watch a movie together or even shop. This will help take the mind away from the unpleasant situation.

But remember, never accept unjust criticism or accusations. You must calmly clarify and make yourself clear.

Daya Kingston

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