Be Open to your Relationship with In-laws

Here are some ways in which you can get along real well with your in-laws.

Though this goes for both partners in a marriage, it is the woman who has to adjust the most. And the person she has to adjust with is invariably the mother-in-law. So much of what follows is about the relationship between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

In the beginning there will be a bit of distance between your mother-in-law and you. This is to be expected. You are as new to her as she is to you. And, as in the case of all the people you are not familiar with, developing trust takes some time.

But the time to develop a trusting relationship can be drastically reduced; it’s mostly up to you.

She’s Responsible for the Good in your Husband

Remember that just as your parents raised you and feel your absence after marriage, your mother-in-law raised her son and may feel the same, although you may live with her in the same house. And also remember that she is the one primarily responsible for much of the good in your husband. So never give her the feeling that you are taking away much of her son’s time.

If your mother-in-law wants to have a say in most of what you do it’s only because she is concerned and wants you to benefit from her years of experience. Receive her advice positively.

Being several years older, your mother-in-law is wiser in many ways. Seek her guidance at every opportunity. This will pre-empt the feeling of interference by her.

Treat Her like your Mother, be Treated like her Daughter

Be attentive to her. Take care of her needs lovingly. The sooner you accept her and treat her as your own mother, the sooner she will treat you like her daughter.

Involve your mother-in-law in raising your children. Grandparents love grandchildren more than they love their children. So take your mother-in-law’s advice in matters relating to your children.

Treat Her like the way you want to be Treated

Always be courteous to her. Developing a positive relationship with your mother-in-law begins with common courtesy. Extend this courtesy to all the other members in your new home. However, when the others in the house see your mother-in-law treat you with love and affection they will soon follow suit.

Help her with her work. The best chance for better bonding is by sharing culinary secrets. Ask her for cookery tips. With her years in the kitchen she is probably a better cook. Tell her that.

Like all other human beings your mother-in-law too longs for appreciation.

 

Prabhu Lazarus

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